Last week was a bit of a heavy blog post. It’s fair to say it’s a topic I could stay focused on, but it’s also true this blog--written mainly for me, let’s be honest--helps catalog my creative output. It’s own privilege to be sure. But I think I’m walking a fine line these days with the mental well-being. Hope is its own dangerous tool, and I am trying my best to cultivate it. To be fair, we will probably go adrift to other topics, because no one lives in a vacuum and I feel that way certainly with art. All that to preface, the blog will still stay mainly a space focused on the writing and other projects. All that to say, I am trying to take my joys, my gratitude where I can, and attempt to acknowledge and work through the guilt my current privilege affords me.
My joy of the week, of the month, of the year was my first ever review! I got the notification and literally braced myself for a bad one--for someone who didn’t like my work, or rated it with only a star and no comments. Instead, deep breath, a person actually out there in the world somewhere took time to a) read my book, and then b) actually write a thoughtful, positive review. I am still floating!!! Like they had a favorite line and everything!!! For those who are even remotely curious, yes, seeing those reviews, heck just getting the reports that people actually download the books, yes, it makes my day. I know my work isn’t perfect, but sending it out into the world just fulfills me so much as a person and knowing other people are seeing it makes me want to run and hide but also scream for joy. Any bright spots for you this week? I’ve been quiet on the blog. I’ve been quiet in general.
If I was prone to melodrama, I might say our country has been barreling toward this moment of reckoning since the United States was founded on democracy for some but not all, equal rights for few, but not many was codified. I might say that, but in a way that also cheapens and lessens the many, many voices, and lives, that have spoken out and risen up to challenge at every step of the way as the systematic injustice and oppression were built into every foundation. In this maelstrom of injustice, people are losing their lives. People are fighting to be heard. And here I am, in a rural part of the country since the COVID-19 pandemic began to surge. When I linger on my privilege, it is to ensure I am putting in the work on my own life. My own misconceptions. When I look to what I can do, I’ve focused on donations to organizations who have been fighting this fight for a long time. When I wrestle with how and where to speak, I do so wanting to ensure my voice is not becoming louder then BIPOC community. Yet it is also true that staying silent on any platform available may be seen as complicit, as not actually making a stand, as waiting for it all to go back to “normal.” It is also true that this fight is not only for those of the BIPOC community. Injustice, discrimination, is a threat to us all. It impacts everyone. To combat that this post now exists to stay firmly the views of this writer, which is black lives matter. I will never understand, but I am trying to show up in the all the ways I can. Respectfully, Olivia |
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